Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
