New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize