i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
