it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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