i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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