i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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