My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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