i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Randomize
