Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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