Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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