OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
