He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
