I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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