You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
