Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
