I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
