so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
