How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
