You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize