It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
