I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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