If that was your dad, he is hot
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
