Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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