Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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