suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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