I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
