Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
