He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
