That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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