Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Randomize
