I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Randomize
