you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
