we're blogging at a bar
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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