It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
please come you make the beer taste better
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
My feet surprised me
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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