I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
