yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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