She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
