What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
vagina is talking i cant
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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