they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
