Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I looked at my own cervix.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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