Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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