Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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