never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
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