Christians are straight up FREAKS
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
