people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
