Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
