did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
