if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
