why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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