im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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