I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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