small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
