So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
