WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
please come you make the beer taste better
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
operation have a gay friend backfired
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
