I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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