Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
