im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
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I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
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Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize