You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Randomize
