literally had 100 drinks last night.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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