I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
