its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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