im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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