i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
He shit in the fireplace
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