Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
