Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
