Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
His hands were made for my vagina.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
So much rum. So many feels.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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